Liquid Diet

My liquid diet started Monday, September 21st, 2020.  I had spent the previous 3 days with my parents eating steak and drowning ourselves in red wine. (that's how we roll) So, a little detox was probably what my body needed. 

I almost talked myself out of starting Monday.  I was going to clean eat on Monday and officially start on Tuesday.  I was afraid that it would be too hard while I was still working in the office. However,  I realized that I was just bullshitting myself.  If I was going to say that this whole process was about being safe and healthy yet I wasn't willing to follow the doctor's order on what he needed me to do to make the surgery easier for him, therefore, safer for me, I wasn't doing my part and I wasn't ready for this huge step.

For my EGD that was scheduled for a Monday, the COVID test was the Wednesday before.  I assumed it would be the same for my Monday surgery, so that is how I filled my FMLA paperwork. However, they ended up scheduling my COVID test for the Saturday before my Monday surgery.  Shhhh... I didn't tell work and as of Wednesday, September 23rd, I am off for the next two and half weeks. I am burnt out at work, so I really needed a break, and I took it.  I wanted to get my house ready and food prep and have a bit of time to mentally prepare.\

Having a friend who had gone through the exact same procedure just under a year before was beyond helpful. I don't think I could put a price on that resource.  And not just during liquid, the whole process.  I'm someone who is anxious when I'm going into anything that I'm unfamiliar with and don't know exactly what is going to happen and when. Elizabeth has held my hand this entire process.  She's encouraged me, listened to my concerns, and been my biggest cheerleader.

I made a few rules for my family the week of the liquid diet that I think it worked really well. I have small children who know I'm having a procedure done, but don't understand what it is and what it is for. First thing I did was take over the kitchen table with puzzles. This made it impossible for anyone to eat in the kitchen.  If they are going eat, they had to go eat in front of the television. That kept the eating away from me and my kids thought it was the greatest thing ever. Without asking, my husband stopped eating dinner until after I had gone to bed. Most nights were spent keeping my hands and mind occupied with puzzles.  My husband ended up joining me every night and we actually had some bonding time; it was fun! I would usually take a mild sleep aid about 9 and head to bed.  I'm a bit of a night owl, so 9 was very early for me.  I knew I would just lay there without a sleep aid. But going to bed was a way to stop the hunger for the day. Easy out.

Day 1 & 2 - Luckily (bad choice of words), we had a COVID exposure at work and half our department was sent home (everyone is okay), but we had to scramble to get the work done and we were SO BUSY Monday and Tuesday. Food was the last thing on my mind and I barely had time to get my 2 protein shakes in.  I did get my workout in though, both days. I didn't need my jello or other crutches, there wasn't time. I made my kids dinner night one with no problems, but night two, I just wanted to eat everything and everything smelled so delicious. Mind you, it was a week of prepared foods that I usually don't make for dinners.  Chicken tenders, french fries, fried fish tacos, all things way out of the norm.  Again, my kids were in heaven.

Day 3 - The 3rd day was the hardest.  I don't know if it's because I'm was at home and work wasn't keeping me busy.  It was the same thing when I had to work from home last spring. I gained 9 pounds and not having my daily routine just killed me. My husband scolds me for being to reliant on routine, but it's how I function. I made it through the day, but it was by far the toughest yet. Because I was so miserable, I didn't go for a walk, and I think I would have felt better if I had. I slipped a little vodka in my evening Gatorade Zero because there has to be SOME joy in life, but really, it just ripped up my stomach. I did get a buzz from about a shot though since I hadn't eaten anything in 3 days!

Day 4 - I had gone to bed very early and woke up feeling well and rested. No morning hunger. I'm down 6 pounds at this point from the beginning of liquid.  Down 21 from my highest weight. Every morning I'm still drinking my decaf with just a tablespoon or so of plain, unsweetened coffeemate creamer. I had my coffee, got my kids out the door, and went for a walk. As of 9:30, I have more steps in than I got all day yesterday. Maybe that was part of the problem - lack of movement. Exercise quells my hunger temporarily during and after. Once I got home from my walk, I was hungry and had a shake. I distracted myself the rest of the day with retail therapy.  Went and got a pedicure, went to H&M and looked at all the clothes I hope to fit into someday, and wandered aimlessly in Target.  It was a great distraction and made the day go fast. The evening was a bit harder, but again, buried myself in a puzzle and headed to bed. 

Day 5, 6, and 7 - at this point I had turned a corner and it went a little easier.  Mind you, at any time I could have sat down to an 8 course dinner, but the hunger pangs weren't quite as sharp or all consuming.  The end was near and I could see my goal.  Surgery was Monday and I was ready to get it over with

Official Before Stats and Pics

My liquid diet started Monday, September 21st, 2020.  I weighed in at 234

Here are my official before pics.  Seriously, that stomach.  Yes, I've had two kids, but that's not all their fault....that is sugars, alcohol, and lack of movement.

Getting my surgery date

Skipping ahead a bit to August. I had my last round of appointments and had my EGD. aka endoscopy. The cost of the surgery for me was my maximum out of pocket for the year which is $2,600.00.  This must be paid completely by the time the surgery happens. But between the heart echo I was required to get for clearance ($900 some dollars), the copays, and the endoscopy, I only had about $700 left when it was time for surgery.

So all my stuff is paid up.  It helped to just pay the bills as they came along to avoid that big hit right before the surgery.

During this whole process you are assigned a case worker. They are the ones that take care of you insurance, make all your appointments, and answer general questions. They can be a little hit or miss, but for the most part, they are kind. The problem is they can be slow to respond or get a little curt with you. I made sure to let all of that roll off my back as to not add more stress to the situation. First, they aren't going to help me MORE if I bitch and moan at them.  The only inconvenience they caused me was my time and my patience. Nothing was dropped or forgotten, I just had to wait. I tried to imagine all the idiotic emails they were getting from all their clients and tried to make sure I wasn't that person. I had seen the KCBC facebook page, there are some weirdos out there. 

Final Timeline:

When you get to the end, the waiting in between these dates is tough, so here is timeline to let you know what my experience was.

8/20/20 - had my final endoscopy

8/24/20 - Authorization was sent to my insurance company

 9/1/20 - Approved for surgery by my insurance

9/9/20 - Received a surgery date

9/21/20 - Liquid diet is to begin 

9/23/20 - Pre surgery Covid test

9/28/20 - Surgery

EGD - Endoscopy

 I will go into a little more detail about all that was involved in the EGD, which is basically just an endoscopy. This is still during the pandemic, so there were some restrictions. 

I was required to get a COVID test before the procedure and they scheduled it the Wednesday before. I had to quarantine until my surgery date and just worked from home.

The EGD is done in the same building, just on the other side on the surgery wing. My sister in law took me and we had to wait in the parking lot until they called us in. It was a busy place with only the sheets on curtain rods for privacy, which is not idea, but fine. The nurses that set me up with my IV and oxygen were so sweet and attentive. I probably waited about 30 minutes and they wheeled me back to the room.  It all happened pretty quick. My sister in law was able to stay with me right up until they wheeled me back. They got my anesthesia going and put this gimpy thing in my mouth to guide the tube and I was knocked out. I woke up back where I started.  The after nurse DID NOT have the bedside manner the first ones had. I almost had to laugh because she was mean! I got my mask back on, and was back out the door.  The whole thing took maybe 2 hours. My sister in law had to drive me home.  The anesthesia knocked me out and I slept most of the afternoon.  My throat was sore, but not until later.  But, it's nothing to be scared of, it just always sucks to be put under. 

That's all I got to say about that.

Quarantine

On March 12th, 2020, my City declared a State of Emergency and we were all sent home with laptops to try to work from home. My child's school was closed with no plans of reopening for the rest of the year and my youngest's daycare closed.  I was tasked with homeschooling, watching my 3 year old, and working from home.  My husband was deemed essential and continued to go into work. 

We would make it to about Thursday before we were all ready to have a breakdown. There were a lot of tears, a lot of frustration, and complete isolation. 

We took lunch walks and tried to dance to Go Noodle, but the stress of my job was too much and it wasn't working. 

I was able to tap into the Federal COVID sick leave. This was leave that didn't come out of my sick leave balance. I took 3 hours a day so that I could try to get a handle on our new normal.  I would work 7am-10am, then we'd do school and take walks, and then I'd work again from 3-5 while the kids chilled out and were allowed screen time. (who am I kidding, every day was FILLED with screen time). It worked for a while and then my job called me back into the office. 

While at home, I was able to complete my monthly bariatric appointments over the laptop. This was a good thing because the other downside to quarantine is that I was eating everything in my house, drinking more alcohol than I even had before, and rapidly gaining weight.  I had a new high.

249

At the end of quarantine I weighed TWO FORTY NINE.

I had to figure out something fast or I was going to get denied for my surgery. My office called me back into the office on June 1st and I decided I was going to go down to the gym to see if I can get some exercise into my day.  Yes, my work has this free, beautiful gym ON SITE, that I never took advantage of because of excuses, laziness, and knowing it was going to be hard.

I started by just walking 20 minutes a day on the treadmill at 2.8, no incline. (please remember that my legs are short, so if I'm much higher than that, I'm jogging)

I went every day and gave myself the weekends off. Outside of maybe 2-3 times due to work issues, or errands, I have been down in the gym every day since June 1st.  I now do 10 to 15 minutes on the treadmill in the morning before I get into work, then go at my lunch and walk for 15 minutes- at 3.2 or higher, and with inclines, and do a tabata routine on the elliptical and stationary bike, then back on the treadmill to cool down for 10-15 minutes depending on how much time I have left. 

I dropped the 9 lbs quarantine weight pretty quick, but I was working out and the scale wasn't moving, but I could tell my clothes were fitting differently. 

I lost 15 pounds and I was down to 234. I felt great. My body was craving the workouts and I was now working out on the weekends and being generally more active. 

I also made food changes starting June 1st.  I started replacing my breakfast with a protein shake. I could tell that protein shakes were going to be a HUGE part of this journey, so I better get on board. First time I tried one, I about gagged.  Then, as I continued to drink them, they got better, and now, I actually like them! I also stopped packing my lunch because I tended to pack huge portions. I stopped eating out (covid helped deter that), and started buying frozen meals. 

While these frozen meals weren't necessarily healthy or low card, they were smaller portions and if I ate those, that is all I ate.  I stuck to the higher end frozen foods that were organic, or antibiotic free because I can't handle weird meat, or the plastic taste of the Lean Cuisines.  My favorites were Amy's, Evol, Saffron Road, to name a few. 

I had turkey sausage sticks in case I got hungry. I tended to get a nasty sugar craving about 3pm.  Due to the pandemic, our break room has been cleared of the usual cookies and bars, so that was a huge help.

I ate my normal dinner and usually had a few cocktails. Mind you, normal at this point is an enormous portion, which is how I got here in the first place. 

The scale was moving, but slowly, probably because of my evenings.  But I wasn't gaining any weight and the exercise was doing wonders for my psyche. 

My son was able to safely do in person summer school, or stay with my sister in law's and my daughter's day care reopened. We were far from normal, but heading there.

                                                        Down to 234 and feeling good

Talking it out with my husband

I have been married to my husband for just over 10 years.  We've been together for about 14 years. He has seen me slowly gain weight since I met him.  When we started dating, I weighed probably about 150-160. 4 years later, when we were married, I weighed 175, (and had to exercise and diet to get there).  

After my first baby, which in included huge weight gain and birthing a 9# 10oz baby, I dropped some of my baby weight but slowly, over the next 5 years, my weight crept bank up to about 220. We had been trying for a 2nd child, but it wasn't going well.  I had two heartbreaking miscarriages and we had decided a second child probably wasn't in the cards for us. I joined Weight Watchers (for maybe my third or fourth time) with my sister in law and we actually did really well on the program.  I got down to almost 200 pounds.  I was gearing up to hit one-derland when BAM, I got pregnant with my daughter. (Another HUGE weight gain, HUGE baby, HUGE mama). At this point, my belly was toast and I had that lovely flap thing going on, which not only was painful, but EW.  Over the next four years, my weight crept up to the highest it had ever been. 240. The day I weighed in at the KCBC, that was the highest I had ever been. 

Now, I know that there are patients that are a lot heavier than I am and in comparison, my weight is some people's goal weight, I was seeing it all over the KCBC facebook page.  But all I knew was that my doctor was talking to my about my weight, I felt like crap, and I couldn't do all the things I always wanted to do with my kids. Plus, I'm 5'2", no matter how you look at it, 240 on a frame that small is not good. So this decision was right for me. 

I spoke to my husband about it and I know that I'm a lucky one. He told me he didn't think it was necessary and that he thought I was beautiful (**SOB**). He also told me he liked my stomach because that was only from our babies (**DOUBLE SOB**). But he was supportive of whatever decision I made. 

So with that discussion out of the way and talks about how our life would change, I called the center and made my initial $250 payment. 

                                                    Wedding day Oct, 2009 - 175#

                                         The night before I went into labor with my 1st. June, 2010

                                    The night before I went into labor with my 2nd. June, 2016

                                                                        This is 240

Consultation

My dear friend Elizabeth had her surgery in November of 2019 and was always honest and straightforward about her experience. After watching her work her ass off, rejoice, struggle, and in the end, swear she'd do it all over again, I thought I had to at least start looking into my options. I filled out some paperwork and was told that this was a procedure that my insurance did cover (pending approval), I had my first consultation with Dr. Hamilton at the Bariatric Center of Kansas City early February 2020. 

Information about the Corona Virus was beginning to come out, but at this point, we had no idea the impact it was about to have on 2020. 

After going through this journey with Elizabeth, any thoughts I had before of this being the easy way out were quickly dispelled.  Even though the surgery is completed laparoscopicly, it was still a major, life-altering surgery.  

My first thought was that I wanted the sleeve. The sleeve sounded like a much less drastic option. Dr. Hamilton (he's a bit of a close talker, heads up there) went over both surgeries with me and answered my questions. My biggest concern was safety. We had had someone at work die from weight loss surgery and leave behind two children. To clarify, she had several other major health issues and didn't follow the doctor's orders whatsoever. Outside of being overweight, for all intents and purposes, I am relatively healthy.  No diabetes, no heart issues, no sleep apnea, fairly flexible, and have 100% mobility. He expressed that he had had to fix several sleeves due to complications and issues, but rarely, if ever, had to repair or address issues with the bypass.  I was sold. He also stated you lose more weight with the bypass. While this was a plus, it was not the deciding factor for choosing the bypass, it was a safety issue.

I had my first weigh in that day and I weighed in at 240. I had eaten on the way there, which I had felt bad about. I should have waited to eat if I knew we were going to be weighing in! BUT, I later found out that my insurance requires that no weight be gained during my 6 month waiting period. So, if you are going to your first appointment, my recommendation is to fill that belly to give yourself some room in case you have any small gains. Also, some insurance's require you actually lose a certain amount of weight.  I high first weigh in gives you an advantage there.

My friend Elizabeth only had a 3 month waiting period, so know that the timeline can vary depending on the insurance you carry.

First appointment down, I decided to wait to make my initial $250 payment to be able to talk to my husband and see what we wanted to do.